Stand by Me (1986)

Stand by Me (1986)

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Vern: I brought a comb!

Chris: What do we need a comb for?

Vern: Well, if we get on TV, we wanna look good, don’t we?

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Vern: Hey, I’m kinda hungry.  Who’s got the food?

Teddy: Shit, did anybody bring anything?

Chris: Not me.  Gordie?

[Gordie shakes head]

Teddy: Oh, well this is great.  What are we supposed to do?  Eat our feet?!

Chris: You mean you didn’t bring anything either?

Teddy: Well shit, this wasn’t my idea.  It was Vern’s idea.  Why didn’t YOU (Vern) bring something?

Vern: What am I supposed to do?  Think of everything?  I brought the comb!

Teddy: Oh great, you brought the comb!  WHAT DO YOU NEED A COMB FOR YOU DON’T EVEN HAVE ANY HAIR!

Vern: I BROUGHT IT FOR YOU GUYS –

Gordie: HEY HEY HEY HEY HEY!  Let’s see how much money we got.

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[Gordie drinks water, spits the water at the metal can]

[Chris drinks water, spits the water at the metal can]

[Vern drinks water, spits the water at the metal can]

[Gordie drinks water, spits the water at the metal can]

[Teddy drinks water, spits the water at Vern’s face]

Vern: Oh great, spit at the fat kid.  Real good.

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Vern: You think Mighty Mouse could beat up Superman?

Teddy: What are you?  Cracked?

Vern: Why not?!  I saw the other day, he was carrying five elephants in one hand!

Teddy: Boy, you don’t know nothing.  Mighty Mouse is a cartoon.  Superman is a real guy.  No way a cartoon could beat up a real guy.

Vern: Yeah.  Maybe you’re right.

[2 seconds later]

Vern: Would be a good fight though.

Teddy: Jesus!

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Gordie: Alright, alright.  Mickey’s a mouse, Donald’s a duck, Pluto’s a dog.  What’s Goofy?

Vern: If I could only have one food for the rest of my life?  That’s easy.  Pez.  Cherry-flavoured Pez.  No question about it.

Teddy: Goofy’s a dog.  He’s definitely a dog.

Gordie: I knew the $64,000 question was fixed.  There’s no way anybody could know that much about opera.

Chris: He can’t be a dog.  He wears a hat and drives a car.

Gordie: Wagon Train’s a really cool show, but did you ever notice that they never get anywhere?  They just keep wagon-training.

Vern: God, that’s weird.  What the hell IS Goofy?

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Teddy: Oh Billy, I wish we never boosted that car.  Oh Billy, I think I just turned my fruit of the looms into a fudge factory.

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